South Africans know more about diabetes than anyone else on earth.
Lord knows, after 48 years of dealing with the fallout I could use help. But, I’d hope my (54 years x 365 days x 24 hours) experience might carry a little weight. No.
But it’s more than the disease. We Saffers know everything about everything. Pick any subject, no matter how complex, like “string theory”. Expect an expert opinion on why yo-yo’s work better outside.
Norwegians are different. They believe a fulfilled man has no need to speak. This applies to women as well.
Mention diabetes over here and you receive a solemn nod, and silence. It’s your turn to share. And when you’ve finished complaining, another solemn nod followed by an uplifting comment.
Something like, “My great uncle, Odd Persson, too had this disease. He died fast.” (“Odd Persson” is a real name here.) And then they go about their business with all the gravitas it deserves. Thankful they had such a long conversation with you.
Tonight they might share the discussion after the fish soup. “That Englishman has the disease of my Odd uncle. He will die soon. Give me more soup.” (Norwegians don’t use “please” much. It makes a conversation longer than it need be.)
SA is different. Mention any disease or windfall and the professor you met 30 seconds ago will say, “I agree with you, but…”
Not that s/he is a real professor. Instead, someone whose father once stubbed his toe on the hind leg of a crocodile. S/He feels this to be relevant and germane to your current challenge.
After this, there are only two options. Say nothing and enjoy their diatribe on why their method is better. Disagree, and face robust debate.
There is a much better response than offering your expertise. Ask some questions. How long? How’re you coping? What’s it like? And then, maybe, offer your real experience about the topic.
I’ve stopped telling people why I avoid carbs. You can check out the reason here.
The backlash is instant. (Hint to Self: Do Not Mention Nutrition To Anyone Ever Again.) The string theory discussion is much shorter. And you can get back to your Shiraz faster.
Empathy is letting someone speak even if he does not know his topic. By listening to him, you will find out if you have something useful to add. It’s a conversation, not a debate.
Often a simple, “I didn’t know that” is more than enough. You may not learn much new about the topic because your PhD thesis featured this problem. But they will feel understood, and that’s good enough for both parties.
If it is a life-threatening issue, wouldn’t it be nice if we said, instead, “That sounds interesting? Why?”
After listening and probing why they think as they do, don’t tell them why their approach is wrong. Ask, “are there any things you should watch out for now that you didn’t have to be for?” I’m always stunned at how much I learn when I stop trying to teach others about their errant ways.
Next time I’ll try to explain why I am introducing 90-day guarantees to all my courses.
ABOUT
I’ve supported and trained more than 50,000 small-business owners since 1992. Since 2003, everything has been online.
I’ve lived in South Africa, Australia, England, Spain, and Norway. Small-business is different in each country, but two key problems are common to all business owners.
- Selling enough to prosper, the main reason 90% of us do not survive our first 10 years
- Surviving business closure, the main reason most of us lose extraordinary amounts of money and confidence and struggle to restart using the experience we gained in our previous ventures.
If you want to know more, pop me an email here.